Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bed I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head Checked out my mail there was letter that read Love for sale, love for sale I picked up the phone I called everyone I could I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook Love for sale, love for sale Send up a signal throw me a line Somebody explain " this funny Valentine" It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yet I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet Love for sale, love for sale We've been living together 3 years, 2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four houndred beers You can't shop for love when you're shopping at, Sears Love for sale, love for sale I guess I've learnt my lesson it was easy to see My old lady she played this joke on me I never looked where I forgot it would be Love for sale, love for sale Love for sale R: Hey Jon Love for sale R: You got some love for sale man? J: Uh uh - love for sale - my old lady locked it up R: Your old lady really did that to you? R: I guess I'll play some blues for you man J: I got the blues! J: You should see her mama... J: You wanna talk about the blues Love for sale J: And her big brothers Love for sale J: They locked my ass up one night Love for sale, I got love for sale J: You heard of a shotgun wedding? J: (laugh) Is that what that was? R: That was a shotgun wedding right here J: All right J: Somebody get me a drink! R: Whoa get back! J: Rich? R: What bro? J: I gotta go R: How come man? J: I gotta go home! R: You gotta go home to your woman? J: Ohhh... I gotta go home man J: Just let's, just let's, let's just say that the records done, ok?