"Look out everyone, he's coming through the doors." "BRILLIANT! He didn't even open them...." "He's here !!!!" "Quick Rick, do the speech." "Hey kids, stop snogging and pay attention to me. 'Cause if you're a wild-eyed loner standing at the gates of Oblivion, hitch a ride with us. 'Cause we're on the last freedom moped out of Nowhere City, and we haven't even told our parents what time we'll be back! So put on your dancing trousers, and get down to the utter King of Rock and Roll, CLIFF RICHARD !!!" (jumps in the air) Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, walking, living doll. (singing) Got to do my best to please her just 'cause she's a livin' doll. Got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul, I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll. OK guys, ready Vyv? Completely ready when you are, Shaky! Neil? Does anybody know where the toilets are? Mike? Hey, does all this money really have to go to charity? Yes it does, Michael! Hi Cliff, it's me! Who are you? Huh he, great joke, Your Majesty! "Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, walking living doll" "Living doll" "Got to do my best to please her, just 'cause she's a living doll" "Living doll" Got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul "'Fies my soul! Fies my soul?! Yes Vyvyan, it's raunchy! Shut up guys! I've got the one and only walking talking living doll! OK daddy-io! Lay the next funky riff on me! He means, "What happens now?" Cliff. The instrumental break. "Great, which instruments do you want us to break?" "Guitar" "Piano" "Violin" "Didgeridoo" "Vyvian's trousers" "Rick's head" "Yeah! Ah, ah, Neil's head!" Hey! Cliff's head! "No! No! NO!" Oh take a look at her hair, it's real. If you don't believe what I say... just feel! Fwooaaarggh! GONNA LOCK HER UP IN A TRUNK! So no big hunk... can steal her away from me. "I still think locking girls up in a trunk is politically unsound." "It's only a song, Rick." "Well, I feel sorry for the elephants." Got myself a... crying... talking... sleeping... walking... livin' doll! Livin' doll. Got to do my best to please her just cause she's a livin' doll. Livin' doll! OK guys, harmony now. Got a rovin' eye and that is why she satisfies my soul 'Fies my soul. I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll! Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooooooh! I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll! Erm... can I go now? Er, yeah, thanks, Cliff, bye! "Right kids, if you don't buy this record, you're an utter utter utter utter utter ..."