The Real Slim Shady

歌詞

(Spoken) May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here. Y'all act like you've never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor, like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door And started whoopin' her ass, worse than before They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Ahh) It's the return of the, oh wait, no way, you're kidding He didn't just say, what I think he did, did he And said, nothing you idiots Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Haha) Feminist women love Eminem Chicka-chicka-chicka Slim Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you know what Flippin' to you know who, yeah but he's so cute though Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents bedrooms (Eh-eh-eh) Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't But it's cool for to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit 4th grade, they got the , don't they We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us are cannibals Who cut other people open like cantaloupes But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (Eww) But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up don't gotta cuss in his raps, to sell records Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too You think I give a damn about a Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here So you can sit me here next to Shit, better switch me chairs So I can sit next to and And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Little bitch put me on blast on MTV "Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe". I should download her audio on MP3 And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Ahh) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me So I have been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me Who dress like me, walk talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only giving you Things you joke about with your friends, inside your livin' room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all And I don't gotta be false or sugar-coat it at all I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it, (Rip) I just shit it Better than 90% of you rappers out can Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums, it's funny 'Cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty I'll be the only person, in the nursin' home flirting Pinchin' nurses asses, while I'm jackin' off with Jergens And I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin' In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin' Who could be workin' at , spittin' on your onion rings Or in the parking lot circling, screamin' "I don't give a fuck." With his windows down and his system up So will the real Shady please stand up And put one of those fingers on each hand up And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time loud as you can, how does it go I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up (Spoken) Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's all stand up