Draft Dodger Rag

歌詞

Oh I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town I believe in God and Senator Dodd and keeping old Castro down. And when it came my time to serve I knew better dead than red But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said: Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen and I always carry a purse I got eyes like a bat, my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse O think of my career, my sweetheart dear, and my poor old invalid aunt Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school, and I'm working in a defense plant. I've got a dislocated disc and a racked-up back I'm allergic to flowers and bugs And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs. I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes I can hardly reach my knees And if the enemy came close to me I'd probably start to sneeze. (chorus) I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see That someone's gotta go over there and that someone isn't me. So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell Yeah, Kill me a thousand or so And if you ever get a war without blood and gore I'll be the first to go.