“Meaninglessness does not come from a weariness of pain but meaninglessness comes from a weariness of pleasure.” [- G.K. Chesterton] ...slain by my own sword. The temple to myself abandoned, the religion of my life now a heresy: “lo Pan!” I chased the wind, but I only caught my hoof. I played my flute, but no one danced: “dance for me!” Truth is found in the lifeless deep where pain and anguish never retreat. Despair, being mother to us all, has summoned me with her death rattle call. Dark and warm, black and void, the blessed place where I am destroyed. She let me back into her womb; She let me present it was my tomb. Holy, Holy, Holy, despair, bless me with anguish, and break off my horns. Holy, Holy, Holy despair, exalt me with sorrow, and crown me with thorns. Here I sit in the Elms, slain by my own sword. The temple to myself abandoned, the religion of my life now a heresy: “lo Pan!” I chased the wind, but I only caught my hoof. I played my flute, but no one danced: “dance for me!” Death has taken me out of spite for my unyielding despair in life, where my useless poems and songs give no right account of all my wrongs. I am the worst, blest and curst. This is silent end of my life, worshipping the so-called god of the knife Holy, Holy, Holy...