Gaston Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Gaston! Lefou Heh heh. Darn right. Gaston Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear. Lefou More beer? Gaston What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. Lefou Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together. Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're ev'ryone's favorite guy Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on Crowd No one's big like Gaston A king pin like Gaston Lefou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating Crowd: My, what a guy, that Gaston Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" Lefou Gaston is the best And the rest is all drips Crowd No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston Girls: For there's no one as burly and brawny Gaston: As you see I've got biceps to spare Lefou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny Gaston: That's right! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair Crowd No one hits like Gaston Matches wits like Gaston Lefou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston Gaston: I'm espcially good at expectorating -- Ptooey! Crowd: Ten points for Gaston! Gaston When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge Crowd No one shoots like Gaston Makes those beauts like Gaston Lefou: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating Crowd Say it again Who's a man among men? And then say it once more Who's the hero next door? Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down Lefou And his name's G-A-S--T-- G-A-S-T-E-- G-A-S-T-O--oh! Crowd: Gaston!