Dear dirty London in the pouring rain I wish to God I was back on the sea again Though that belongs to the world of never will be There was never a wilder bastard than me on the sea I could fuck all the whores in damnation me boys Though they wriggled and hollered and made a great noise Then I'd drink till I stank and then drink plenty more And I won't go down to the sea any more But if I had ten pounds then I'd raise a loud cheer And I'd toast all me neighbours both distant and dear And I'd shoot back great belly-crippling buckets of beer And a pox and a curse on the people round here Wouldn't give you me the price of a half pint of beer Wouldn't give you me the price of a cup of good cheer A pox and a curse on the people round here A man's ambition must indeed be small To write his name upon a shithouse wall But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl To show the world I'm left with sweet fuck all And when all of us bold shithouse poets do die A monument grand they will raise to the sky A monument made just to mark our great wit A monument of solid shit now me boys I met with Bill James we fought over crusts I called him a whore and he booted me crotch Then we shared out the jack and we thought it a treat The compliments pass when the quality meet The compliments pass when the quality meet The compliments pass when the quality meet The compliments pass when the quality meet