Why don't you swallow a handful of someone else's pills? It will solve all of my problems and cure all your ills Take the little red capsules . . . that relieve your tension Take the little white tablets . . . that prevent conception Take the little black beauties . . . sure to make you thin And wash 'em all down with a bottle of gin! Cross my heart and hope to die I'll lay pennies on your eyes Tag your toe for all to see DOA, RSVP There ain't no two ways about it There ain't no two ways about it There ain't no two ways about it You're gonna die! And when you swallow a handful of someone else's pills Just remember everybody who told you suicide kills But you took a little more valium . . . you took a little more speed You took a little more Darvon . . . but you never took heed You took a little getting used to . . . with everything you were on And now I'm getting used to the fact that you're gone! Cross your arms and lay to rest I'll lay lillies on your chest Shake my head at your disgrace While they throw dirt on your face There ain't no two ways about it There ain't no two ways about it There ain't no two ways about it You're gonna die! There ain't no two ways about it No two ways about it No two ways about it You're gonna die!