If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sittin' On It (Before I Give It Away)

歌詞

I own a secondhand furniture store and I think my prices are fair That is until this real cheap guy came in one day Saw this chair he wanted to buy, but he wouldn't, claimed the price was too high So I looked him straight in his eye, and this was my reply..... If I can't sell it, I'm gonna sit down on it Why should I give it away Now, darlin', if you want it, you gotta buy it And I mean just what I say Now, how'd you like to find this waitin at home for you every night Only been used once or twice and it's still nice and tight But if I can't sell it, I'm gonna keep sittin on it I don't see the need to give it away Now, you can't find a better pair of legs in town And a back like this, hah, not for miles around And that is why if I can't sell it, I'm gonna recline upon it Why should I give it away Because it's made for comfort, built for wear and tear Where else would you find such a easy chair, hah-hah-hah Oh, but if I can't sell it, I am going to remain seated on it I ain't about to give it away Oh, because it's lush, plush, slick and sleek Darlin', a high class piece like this at any price is cheap So, if I can't sell it, I'm gonna remain seated on it I don't see the need to give it away Now, look at this nice bottom, ain't it easy on the eye Guaranteed to support any weight or size But if I can't sell it, I'm gonna sit down on it I ain't about to give it away You know I have really had my fill of folks always comin' around with their hand stuck out Want somethin' and don't want to give nothin' Now, if you want this, put your hand in your stash and gimme some cash If you want somethin' for free, go to the Salvation Army, don't come to me Now this is not Saint Vincent de Paul's place, this is Ruth's place Read my lips No free trips! And you can look at me and see I have not been starvin', darlin' Now I have a few diamonds that I haven't even taken off to dust lately Now you are not getting anything around here for free Show me the colour of your money Goodbye!