She walks down the stairs, feeling herself, looking like she just won a court case He's got a funny way of using the same four chords for every song he makes He's called Bill and he plays with words, like a skill, yeah he's pretty great He said his 'official' friend died 'cause of a 'officiate' Yeah she's called Hannah and she plays the Joanna, grade eight but she's got no soul John's obsessed with fat ass and he's ten years old Oh, Dad's an 'Otis Reading at a wedding' type guy with the best voice you've ever heard He said, "Give me a date I can work on, my heart hurts" I get home on the 23rd I'll drive up on the 23rd I bumped into Julie in the Co-Op, she asked how the family's been I said 'Alex is a sculptor and Olivia's been a vegan since 10' Vin wears dresses whilst Debbie coalesces in a fleece that doesn't work And I'll be giving my chair to my mum 'cause her back hurts I get home on the 23rd I'll drive up on the 23rd Now mum's not a fan of that line about her back, she said it makes her sound frumpy and old I said "Woman, you are sixty-four years old" Now stop the percussion, I wanna have a discussion, and it's Christmas so this is gonna be a nightmare I just came for the stuffing, not to argue about nothing, mark my words, I'll be home on the 23rd Yeah, drive up on the 23rd Oh, come home on the 23rd