July has done with me what winter does to cherry trees You picked a few before they were ready You could not wait for the season running its course And wiping your mouth, spitting the pit out, You say I've never been the one you fell in love with two And one half years ago. who was I then? I'm afraid of losing a life I never had And I've lost the part of myself That knew how things are Wish I could be jagged in your apathy I cannot shudder myself in Fold up, cold girl Wish I could hang a sign says "too jaded; do not disturb" But the windows are open and goddamn this front door - I cannot keep it closed You could walk right in and ruin my theater And walk right out again And I'm afraid of losing a life I never had And I've lost the part of myself That knows how things are