Hello, Mr. Fussy Hello, Mrs. Nice Have you ever shared a bathtub Full of beer and ice? I know you want to I know you can Put down your children And free up your hands Come on and free up your hands Come on and free up your hands Do you still like to kiss her? Do you still hold her hand? Would you cheat with her sister? Do you march to her band? And when you're by yourself With a drink in one hand Do you break your little rule And give yourself the other hand? C'mon and give yourself a hand C'mon and give yourself a hand C'mon and give yourself a hand C'mon and give yourself a hand I know your wife's uncle He's a very nice man He's got long clever fingers On his lovely pink hands Did you give that bad boy The back of your hand? I know you want to I know you can Give him the back of your hand Give him the back of your hand Give him the back of your hand Give him the back of your hand