Playin' on his slide-trombone In a certain monotone He was known as Mr. Monotony. Any pleasant interlude That would mean a change of mood Didn't go with Mr. Monotony. Sometimes he would change the key, But the same dull melody Would emerge from Mr. Monotony. Folks for miles would run away, Only one preferred to stay. She would come around and say: "Have you got any monotony today?" They got married as they should And around the neighbourhood She was known as Mrs. Monotony. They were happy as could be And they raised a family, Six or seven little Monotonies. From another village came a snappy clarinetter. She heard him play and strange to say she liked him better. That was the end of Mr. Monotony. Oh, she refused him when he tried, Bringing her back to his side. She just answered when he cried: "Have you got any monotony today?" "Have you got any monotony today?" "Have you got any monotony today?" Bye, bye, Mr. Monotony. Mr. Monotony, Is that you? Hey, Mr. Monotony ...? Oh, this playing is wonderful! Oh, Mr. Monotony, I come back to you any time. Mr. Monotony, don't go away, Surely I didn't really mean it. Oh, Mr. Monotony, I need you back ....