Your boyfriend, he Went down on one knee Well, could it be He's only got one knee? I tried to surprise you With Vodka Or Tizer I can't quite remember But you didn't thank me You didn't even thank me Because you never do Your boyfriend, he Has the gift of the gab Or, could it be The gift of the grab? I tried to surprise you I laid down beside you And nothing much happened And you didn't phone me You didn't even phone me Because it's not your style To dial Your boyfriend, he Has displayed to me More than just A real hint of cruelty I tried to surprise you I crept up behind you With a homeless chihuahua You cooed for an hour You handed him back and you said "You'll never guess I'm bored now"