I know a girl who thinks of ghosts She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast But she don't use butter And she don't use cheese She don't use jelly, or any of these She uses Vaseline Vaseline Vaseline I know a guy who goes to shows When he's at home an' he blows his nose He don't use tissues Or his sleeves He don't use napkins, or any of these He uses magazines Magazines Magazines Magazines I know a girl who reminds me of Cher She's always changin' the color of her hair But she don't use nothin' that you buy at the store She likes her hair to be real orange She uses tangerines Tangerines Tangerines Tangerines Tangerines