The other night I took a ride with little ol' Lucy Brown We went to all the honky-tonks, we really got around She's five-foot-two with eyes of blue and pretty as a queen I didn't know her pop was a city cop, and she was just fifteen! Good morning Judge Why do you look so mean, sir? And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be? If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty It must be someone else You know it can't be me! I filed my income tax return, thought I'd saved some dough I cheated just a little bit, I knew they'd never know I got some money back this year, like I always do They'll have to catch me before I pay Internal Revenue! Good morning Judge Why do you look so mean, sir? And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be? If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty It must be someone else You know it can't be me! My wife and I we separated, just the other day Last thing that she said to me was "Brother you will pay!" She said I'll pay her every week, I better never fail I said before I send you a dime, I'll die right here in jail! Good morning Judge Why do you look so mean, sir? And Mr. Judge, what can the charges be? If there's been trouble, I will plead not guilty It must be someone else You know it can't be me!