One day there was a mascot war, the body count was large Metal vs. cereal, and Eddie led the charge Toucan Sam was kneecapped and his beak was smashed apart When Murray clubbed him in the face and then ripped out his heart Tony didn't feel so great when Wrex opened his head With some friendly violent fun that stupid tiger fuck was dead Not manned up and with a punch proceded to lay waste Planted a fistful of metal right in Wendell's smarmy face Silly Rabbit didn't look, was in for quite a shock When Vic Rattlehead came from behind and brained him with a rock Snaggletooth impaled Booberry on his piggy tusks And then roasted him, his breath turning the undead fiend to dust It's a mascot war Grim Reaper jumped his motorcycle through a church window There he found the Corn Flake Rooster, killed him with a solid blow Jack-O-Lantern took one of the seven keys, said "die," And then Lucky, that poor bastard got it crammed into his eye Honey Bee and Chaley battled high above the ground With a hammer of his head the winged skull, he won the round Flotzilla towered high above the battle, with a chop It was doomsday for deceivers known as Snap, Crackle and Pop Count Chocula, a wooden stake inside his heart, was slain It was placed there with no mercy by bloodthirsty Baphomet Cap'n Crunch was stomped upon and then his head was pissed Because Sargent D was coming and he was on his list There's too much at stake tonight Metal mascots take the throne Diggum's skull is gleaming white And Frankenberry dies alone Frankenberry dies alone Frankenberry dies alone Mascot war Breakfasttime your time is up Show the Honeycomb thing no fear Hold fast and stand your ground Our time is now, our moment's here