Hail to the conquerin' hero There he goes with the girl he stole from me Hail to the conquerin' hero Look at him: he's as proud as he can be He may think he's won the prize But he doesn't realize I'm not givin' her up so easily Hail to the conquerin' hero I suppose he'll be kissin' her tonight Three cheers for the conquerin' hero Marchin' off with my baby just for spite While he is makin' with romance I'll be planning an advance I'm not givin' her up without a fight For now I may retreat, but I won't admit defeat I'll show that guy I'm just as smart Yeah, all's fair in love and war, so I'll even up the score I'll decorate him with a broken heart Down with the conquerin' hero Pretty soon I'll be ready to attack I'll conquer the conquerin' hero When I do, then I'll get my baby back So he thinks the battle's done But the battle's just begun I'll be winnin' her back, just wait and see And then that conquerin' hero is gonna be me