She said It's just a woman thing and pulled out of the drive I said not to worry I'm an understanding guy I've heard that when you love someone you gotta let 'em go She hollered When I find myself you'll be the first to know Ooh no news I learned to do the laundry feed the cat and clean the house I promised to be patient while she worked her problems out When she packed her bags her destination wasn't clear But I sensed that her intentions were honest and sincere Ooh no news She could telephone tell a friend tell a lie about where she's been Send a pigeon send a fax write it on a post-it pad Send a signal up in smoke tap it out in Morse Code I'd prefer a bad excuse to no news Her mama's been a little vague as to her whereabouts Her sister says I'm certain your romance is headed south I don't have a single doubt that she's still in love My level of anxiety is just a product of Ooh no news She could telephone tell a friend tell a lie about where she's been Send a pigeon send a fax write it on a post-it pad Send a signal up in smoke tap it out in Morse Code I'd prefer a bad excuse She missed her bus missed her plane surely this can be explained Lost her car at the mall got locked in a bathroom stall Joined the cult joined the klan on the road with Pearl Jam Buried with The Grateful Dead came back as a Parrot Head Got derailed got de-iced offered as a sacrifice FBI CIA if they've seen her they ain't saying No news Still no news