Shopping spree for the family tree haven't seen your family tree In quite a while Too many sandwiches and wine Sherry stains down your best mans tie what a speech <♪> The band arrives the granny's cry Singers tongue's in the barmaids mouth what a voice Grandpa drunk a drop or two his heads still stuck in the portaloo What a man <♪> You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring and a man who sings the man who sings Made love to the barmaid twice and that's just tonight <♪> The blue rinsed hairs lift up their chairs the bands too loud They're off down stairs what a noise The bride and groom they dance their dance The singer mimes and there's still a chance the barmaid smiles You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring and a man who sings the man who sings Made love to the barmaid twice and that's just tonight <♪> You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight You got a diamond ring and a man who sings the man who sings Made love to the barmaid twice Grandpa drunk a drop or two and his head's still stuck down the portaloo what a man The bride and groom they dance their dance the singer mimes there's still a chance tonight And the bar maid smiles