What do Crystal Gayle Dorothy Hamill Don King Lyle Lovett and Gloria Steinem have in common They are Prisoners of Their Hairdos Prisoners of Their Hair If they changed the way they combed their hair They'd never be recognized anywhere They're prisoners What do Stevie Nicks Leon Redbone Pee Wee Herman Tom Wolfe and Pope John Paul have in common They are prisoners of their wardrobes Prisoners of their clothes If they changed the outfits that they wear Nobody would stop and stare They're prisoners It's a little tragic, it's a little weird ZZ Top are prisoners of their beards Imagine them weightless in outer space Beards and shades flyin' all over the place Don't worry, that'll never happen, except maybe in a music video There's a very fine line Between a groove and rut Fine line between eccentrics And people who are just plain nuts Aw but why should I concern myself With such superficial fare 'Cause I'm a prisoner of these stupid thoughts Which is worse than being a prisoner of my hair do I wonder if Crystal Gayle has ever had a bad dream about being trapped with Ted Koppel, and Mary Travers. Being chased by a wild pack of scissors toward a swimming pool filled with Nair. Oh my god what a nightmare that would be for Crystal Gayle. Wake up Crystal Gayle. Wake up. Oh no, here comes Dolly Parton. What is she doing in this song? She's only a prisoner of a wig. Get out of here Dolly, you don't belong. No offense. Oh my goodness! It's the B-52's. They're not prisoners of their hairdo's. Their hairdo's are prisoners of them. Oooh... That's really scary!