Twice upon a time In the valley of the tears The auctioneer is bidding For a box of fading years And the elephants are dancing On the graves of squealing mice Anyone for tennis? Wouldn't that be nice? And the ice creams are all melting On the streets of bloody beer While the beggars stain the pavements With fluorescent Christmas cheer And the Bentley-driving guru Is putting up his price Anyone for tennis? Wouldn't that be nice? And the prophets in the boutiques Give out messages of hope With jingle bells and fairy tales And blind providing scopes And you can tell that all they're saying Underneath the pretty lights Anyone for tennis? Wouldn't that be nice? Yellow Buddhist monkeys Burning brightly at the zoo You can bring a bowl of rice And then a glass of water, too And Fate is setting up the chessboard While Death rolls out the dice Anyone for tennis? Wouldn't that be nice?