[Verse 1] Yo Yvette, there's a lot of rumours goin' around They're so bad, baby you might have to skip town See something's smellin' fishy and they say it's you All I know is that you made it with the whole damn crew They say you're a man-eater during the full moon Mascot of the senior boys' locker room They said Yvette walked in, there wasn't too much rap Her reputation got bigger, and so did her gap Cuz girl your momma shoulda taught you better I'mma sit down and write you a long letter. [Chorus] Dear Yvette [x4] [Verse 2] I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again if you was I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz I'm not a news reporter, I don't mean to assume What should I think? I seen ya comin' out the men's bathroom You wasn't in there alone, wasn't usin' the phone The door was locked for twenty minutes, all I heard was "Moan". [Repeat chorus] [Verse 3] I don't really know if the story is so I can either ask Curly, or Larry or Moe or Earl, Shabazz, Lou, Mookie or Joe Like Santa Claus said, you're a ho-ho-ho In every disco you say hello Like you're a little angel, but we all know Since you was eleven you been actin' this way You always got in bed when you wanted to play You're a freak, you think you're Lady Godiva Some freaks are live, but Yvette you're liver. [Repeat chorus] [Verse 4] You're a back-seat queen, a elevator pro A high-powered body makes your Levis grow See the stories I've heard, they could amaze I heard she did it on a motorcycle back in the days So calm down freak, get a G.E.D. That's a General Education on Decency One day you'll see, and agree with me unless you're gonna be a freak until you're 93 For you there's no fee, everything is free This is from me to you, not you to me Every night is your night, your leather pants are tight You try to shake your butt with all your might I don't really wanna dis nobody You might think I had a little too much Bacardi But that's not the problem, the problem's Yvette How bad can a girl's reputation get? See she's the kinda girl all the homeboys met If you're desparate ask Yvette, cuz she'll say "Bet". [Repeat chorus] [Verse 5] B-Boys are hard on the boulevard The Reverend at the church said you was barred Homeboys on the block love you a lot You're a real famous freak whether you like it or not So before you start walking and your beak starts squawkin' let me explain to you who is talkin' I'm L.L. Cool J from around the way You boogie down to my records almost every day Go a hundred miles an hour when you're standin' still You're faster than my Caddy when it's goin' downhill Won't forget that day in the Y.M.C.A. The guy at the desk said it was OK for you to come inside cuz he knew you'd stay Greg G. and Garfield yelled "Hooray" [Repeat chorus x2]