When the world was made the chances were the same Evidently something went wrong I'm growin' worse and worse every day Tryin' to figure oput where I belong If my outlook on life you can't see Just listen to some of the things that's happened to me My insurance has elapsed and I'm threatened with the flu I got serious landlord trouble 'cause he swears my rent is due Why they don't send me my compensation cheque is a mystery That couldn't happen to nobody else but me Now I-I-I, I don't ever get in trouble messin' about with other folks' business 'Cause I'm always too busy tryin' to straighten out my own That's why sometimes I si' down and start wonderin' Why Old Man Bad Luck don't pick on somebody else and leave me alone Now I-I-I was glad to be drafted 'cause I knew I could eat and sleep But on my way to the induction centre I was run over by a jeep And the army, er, they rejected me for physical disability, mm-mm That couldn't happen to nobody else but me You know, I was walkin' down the street and stumbled and, and fell on my head Right away, all my friends sent for an ambulance 'cause they knew that I was dead And do you know, thet tried to cremate me that same afternoon at three Mm-mm! That couldn't happen to nobody else but me I walked down the street and found a pocket book right in front of the First National Bank I looked around and picked it up, put it in my pocket without stoppin' to think They had me arrested for misappropriatin' funds and I was given from one to three Mm-mm! That couldn't happen to nobody else but me My wife killed a man, 'cause she swears he broke her heart Naturally, they put her in jail and we drifted apart But the jury acquitted her and she had me locked up for alimony That couldn't happen to nobody but me