What Is Father (Remastered)

歌詞

Almost any evening about six an adult male can be seen taking off his shoes Putting on house slippers picking up the evening paper And reclining deep in the softest chair in the living room of any well regulated home No sooner is he seated comfortably when small creatures call children Climb up on top of him muss his hair tumble in his lap kiss him and hug him And run for mother when he lets out a great big yell He is not a monster although he is sometimes accused of it when he loses his temper He is not exactly a stranger in the house although he mostly sleeps and eats there He is not a boarder although he thinks sometimes that it would be cheaper for him No he is none of these things he is a father Father's come in assorted shapes sizes and ages but all have one common creed To always provide to the best of his ability All the comforts of good living to his wife and family To always have a little extra change in his pockets for the children Bills of large denomonations for his wife and family expenses And a secret hidden compartment in his wallet for bills of a smaller denomonations For his own pleasures which are few Fathers are a necessary item in each home They are handy for putting up storm windows painting screens Mowing the lawn nailing a shelf lifting heavy objects Moving the furniture wiping the dishes cleaning the basement And they are perfect as a soft touch when the kids need spending money Children adore them house to house salesmen hate them Wives tolerate them and heaven and the insurance companies protect them At home a father is usually quiet unassuming and casual He answers to names like daddy dad pop popsey the old man that stinker And that loveable character ot the mister of the house He answers most questions with inaudible mumbles daydreaming glances Or house shaking bellows depending on the situation Get him into his best blue suit and well starched collar and he complains bitterly But once at the party he becomes the speaker of the evening He tells jokes he would never tolerate at home and he dances with all the girls Wears the lampshade as a hula costume And protests loudly when the last hour's finished and mother bustles him homeward Fathers are a paradox they will fight man or beast to protect the family Yet an upset stomach or a minor pain is reason enough to cause loud moaning and groaning And checking to see if the last will and testement is in order He walks ten miles on the golfcourse but takes the car to mail a letter at the corner He eats like a horse but uses sacchrine in his coffee because he is on a diet He hollers bloody murder when the bills come due But always manages to come up with a nice gift at the appropriate time He is a devil an angel a saint a gallant gentleman an uncouth creature A wise business man and a sucker for a sob story Fathers are people who snore the loudest use the bathroom the longest Can't find shirts underwear and socks the ofteness And holler the loudest when mother and the kids are not dressed and ready to go when he is Fathers should never be bothered when they are reading the paper when monthly bills arrive The 15th of March and on Sunday mornings Fathers like books golf a good smoke open necked shirts house slippers tweed suits A soft bed cards hammocks after-shave lotions sports sleeping late lodge nights and one woman They are not so much for company neck-ties shaving perfumes after dinner speakers Crowds lawnmowers relatives mother's new hat diets cuff links collar buttons Empty refrigerators tuxedos garters and dentisits They remember business appointments luncheons sporting data and taxes But forget birthdays anniversaries grocery lists and the ring in the bathtub Yes father's are strange customers They holler and beller and complain they never seem to do things the right way They bundle the kids off to sunday school then sleep through church They are outwardly tough and inwardly sentimental And they are the little boys of yesterday grown up And yet when this big rough tough rugged self-sufficient man talks with his Lord When and where no other human can see him in his humility He will invariable say something like this Dear Beloved Father thanks for seeing my family safely through another day in these uncertain times Thanks for the health the food and the goodness you have bestowed upon my loved ones Thanks for helpin' to make of me the man my kids think I am Thanks for forgiving my transgressions and shortcomings and for helping me to walk closer in Thy way Thanks again for my wonderful home and family and above all thanks for the woman you have blessed me with The mother of my children my wonderful understanding wife Please watch over them while I am away and bring peace to all families like ours everywhere I ask this in Your name Thanks Father Amen