Left Brain, Right Brain

歌詞

[Spoken] Voice Hello, Patient 24602. Bo Hello. Voice How are you feeling? Bo Um, not great. Voice Has the treatment been working? Bo Uh, I don't think so, no. Voice What are your remaining symptoms? Bo I just-- I-- I internalize my feelings a lot-- I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people-- I feel like-- I just-- I'm-- Voice So basically you're still a little bitch. Bo Yes... Very mature of you, Disembodied Voice, way up there. Voice I was just joking, nigger. Bo Alright you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit... Voice I'm not human, I can say whatever I want. Bo Alright, just-- what-- just get to the point! What's wrong with me? Please, please... Voice Your emotions and your logic are at war. Bo Okay. Voice Your creativity and your analysis are at war. And most simply, your left and right brain are at war. Bo My left and my--? Voice To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other. Bo Sep--? Voice Splitting your neurological functions: in five, Bo Well, can we book an appointment or something? Voice Four, three Bo You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures. Voice Two, one- this may hurt a bit- Bo I don't even know what 'it' is. Voice Zero. Bo Just tell me what you're--! Voice Isolation complete. This is Bo's Left Brain. Objective. Logical. Cold. Analytical. Aware of patterns. Aware of trends. He's efficient-- and a prick. This is Bo's Right Brain. Subjective. Creative. Sensory. Aware of feelings. Aware of people. He's emotional-- and an idiot. Right That's your opinion. Just-- careful with opinions. Voice Okay boys... Play nice. [Sung] Left I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain "I work really hard till my inevitable death" Brain You've got a job to do? You'd better do it right And the right way, is with the Left Brain's might Right I like Oreos and pussy, (Yes! In that order!) And I cried for at least an hour after Watching Toy Story 3 (Woody!) I am the Right Brain (Sha-na-na-na-na!) I have feelings (Sha-na-na-na-na!) I'm a little all over the place, But I'm lustful and trustful And I'm lookin' for somebody to love (Or put my penis in) Left Here comes a female, here comes a female Puff your chest out, take your phone and check your email Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate, So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate Right HOLY FUCK, I think she might be the one! There's something about her I just can't describe it... Left Tits. Right I am the earth, she's the glorious sun! I want her to trust me And I just want her to-- how do I say this? Sit on my face-- sit-- SIT ON MY FACE! Left Alright now, Right Brain, you're being insane Right No Left Brain, I'm just being alive You should try it You might like it! Left I worked hard to give him everything he cared about You were worried 'bout the things that he was scared about I'm calm and collected, when you act wild I am the adult, you are the child. Right You think you're the right one every time You think you know everything But you don't know anything at all Half of his problems were supposed to be mine But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy, 'cause he's sure not. [Spoken] Left Well according to my calculations-- I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um-- you're a pussy. Right Name calling, really, you're gonna just do name calling? Left It's not calling names, alright? I'm just stating facts, okay? And the fact is: you're a quivering pussy. Right I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still, okay? Left Rubik's Cubes are not toys. They keep my spatial reasoning skills...sharp. Right Left Brain plays with toys! Look at you, Mister-- You're a toy player-- Left Well at least I did my fucking job! Alright? I kept him working, I kept him productive. You were supposed to look after him. You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this. Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling. How he's FEELING! If he's "feeling" unhappy it's because you failed him! You did this to him, he hates you, I know he does! HE FUCKING HATES YOU! [Right Brain cries] Right Brain look, I'm sorry, okay? Right No you're not. [Crying] [Sung] Left Look, maybe there's something that we could do together Right Together? Left Take the best parts of both of us- Put 'em together Right I'm listening. Left It would let you let your feelings out It would let me analyze So you could man the themes, I'll man the form It's something that George Carlin did It's something that Steve Martin did It's something special that we could both perform... Do you know what it is? [Spoken] Right JUGGLING! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away! Left It was-- It was comedy. We could do comedy together, and-- Voice Initiate reassembly. Left Alright Right Brain look, we're gonna do comedy together, alright? We gotta do comedy! Right Alright! Alright Left Brain, I'll do comedy with you! Left Look, we can fix him like this! We can make him happy again, I promise, alright? Voice Commencing reformation into singular mind: in five, Right Left Brain! Voice Four, Right Left Brain, I love you! Voice Three, Two, One... Left I know. Voice Experimentation complete. Bo Thank you very much.