Hello, hello, calling a Carl Prejektorinski To the front of the cathedral You have won, dear Sir, may I congratulate you first? Oh, what an honor Human, human of the year, you are Human, human of the year, you are Why are you so scared? You stand there shaking in the pew The icons are whispering to you They're just old men Like on the benches in the park Except their balding spots are glistening with gold Human, human of the year, you are Human, human of the year, you are Ah, ah, ah, you have won Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Outside the cars are beeping out a song Just in your honor And although they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers And thus the cathedral had spoken Wishing well to all the sinners And with a sigh grew silent Until next year's big human winner Outside the cars are beeping out a song Just in your honor And although they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers All mankind are now your brothers Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Hello, hello, calling a Carl Prejektorinski To the front of the cathedral You have won