Well the reindeer pull the sleigh And the elves make the toys Those are the stories that are well known to all Little girls and boys But I've got another story That I bet you haven't heard Did you know that Santa Has a secret agent bird He's Penguin James Penguin That dapper little guy Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux He's Santa's secret spy Have you ever wondered How Santa keeps tabs How he knows when you've been good How he knows when you've been bad He's Penguin James Penguin That dapper little guy Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux He's Santa's secret spy From an undisclosed location He's watching me and you He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks Yeah he sees everything you do He's Penguin James Penguin That dapper little guy Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux He's Santa's secret spy Not so very long ago Santa didn't need much help But with more and more kids every year He soon got overwhelmed He told the elves one Christmas We can't do this anymore Then a knight in shining polyester Waddled through his door And it was Penguin James Penguin He was there to save the day He had wireless And GPS outfitted on the sleigh And Santa said Penguin Won't you be my ears and eyes How'd you like to help me run My SCFBI He's Penguin James Penguin And now I guess you've heard How Santa got his little Christmas Secret Agent Bird