Bernstein: Wonderful Town, Act 1: "One hundred easy ways to lose a man" (Ruth)

歌詞

The first way to lose a man You've met a charming fellow and you're out for a spin The motor fails and he just wears a helpless grin Don't bat your eyes and say, "What a romantic spot we're in?" Just get out, crawl under the car Say it's the gasket and fix it in two seconds flat with a bobby pin That's a good way to lose a man He takes you to a baseball game You sit knee to knee He says, "The next man up at bat will bunt, you'll see" Don't say, "Ooh, what's a bunt? This game's too hard for little me" Just say,"Blunt? Are you nuts? With one out, two men on base And a left-handed batter coming up, you'll walk right into a triple play The same as the fifth game of the world series in 1923" That's a sure way to lose a man A sure, sure, sure, sure way to lose a man A splendid way to lose a man Just throw your knowledge in his face He'll never try for second base, ninety-eight ways to go The third way to lose a man, the life-guard at the beach That all the girlies adore, swims bravely out To save you through the ocean's roar, don't say, "Oh, thanks I would have drowned in just one second more" Just push his head under and yell "Last one in is a rotten egg", and race him back to shore That's a swell way to lose a man You've found your perfect mate and it's been love from the start He whispers,"You're the one to who I give my heart" Don't say, "I love you too, my dear, let's never, never part" Just say,"I'm afraid you've made a grammatical error Isn't 'to' who I give my heart', it's 'to whom I give my heart' You see with the preposition 'to,' 'who' becomes the indirect object Making the use of 'whom' imperative which I can prove to you With this very simple chart That's a fine way to lose a man A fine, fine, fine, fine way to lose a man A dandy way to lose a man Just be more well-informed as he You'll never hear "Oh, promise me" Just tell him where his grammar errs Then mark your towels 'hers' and 'hers' Yes, girls, you too can lose your man If you will use Ruth Sherwood's plan One hundred easy ways to lose a man