There's a great big hole Underneath my home And everyone's telling me To leave it alone But how can i do that When i can't see the bottom I told the authorities But I'm sure they've forgotten The house is now subsiding It's perched at an angle I can't get compensation Without a legal wrangle The council say it's bottomless And there's nothing they can do It could be an old mine shaft Or a scar of World War Two I've heard a vicious rumour Going round the town Saying the ruskies have invaded By going underground I called in an expert Who's opinion i trust He says i've got a defect In my surface crust A crack of splintered wood And half the floor has gone I'm lucky that it wasn't The half that I'm stood on What if i just vanish Into the murky vault Will anyone consider It could of been their fault What if i just vanish Into the murky vault Will anyone consider It could of been their fault