Written by Roger Miller Chorus: Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman If I figured them all out 'twould take many years I once had a sweetheart, the fairest of maidens She outshined all others that I'd known by far I had a friend, a big fella, named big Harlan Taylor Harlan had a rubber-tired, new shiny car Chorus: Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman If I figured them all out 'twould take many years By the wants of a woman she fell for big Harlan I tried, but in vain, for to take my own life Suddenly I had lost all my will to keep livin' She lost her desire to become my young wife Chorus: Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman If I figured them all out 'twould take many years I wanted revenge and waylaid for big Harlan Then I started wondrin' what good would it do If a rubber-tired, new shiny car's her ambition Then she can just have it and big Harlan, too Chorus: Oh the ways of the world, and the wants of a woman If I figured them all out 'twould take many years If I figured them all out it would take many years...