it's rock paper scissors as to whether i will get over you at all it's hand against hand and both hands are mine it's standing in a circular line which is not to say that i'm not also happy a happy meal with a surprise inside surprise surprise here's another bright light in your eyes exposing all the stuff you're not calculating enough to hide this melancholy that i carry makes me feel so grown up at my kitchen table doing shots of resignation i never thought i'd see the day when i would say i give up and break the stallions of my wildest expectations i do not want to know you this way surrounded by so much pain but how am i supposed to let go of you this way like a bird into the sky of my brain? i think i could accept all these dark colors as just part of some bigger color scheme if it wasn't for that drippy string quartet of sadness underscoring each smiling scene desire drags me right out of myself a gas-soaked rope tied to a piece of coal and i'm getting pretty good at looking at the bright side while the flames rip along the sand and swallow me whole