She's a latter-day saint But she's a Saturday sinner Suicide, Sunday dessert For weekends, drinkin her dinner The worry keeps her slender The pills keep her awake Her man can't make her happy but he helps to still the shakes So I met her boyfriend at the bar He said he'd stick to beer Said I could keep the cocktails Martinis taste like tears I asked if he would leave her, what with all the grief He passed the pitcher back to me and asked what I believed I said virginity's a childhood disease And these days, it seems, have interest for the attic thief Patience for the epigrammatic but brief There's only four ways to acquire Anyone says different is a salesman or a liar You can find it, earn it, make it, or steal it I haven't found a single way to keep it You can leash it, it'll leave; you can teach it to stay and it'll leave You can case and display and decay will waste it away And day by day, it leaves you by degrees He put his hand on my knee; sometimes that's what it takes He doesn't make me happy but he helps to still the shakes Put all your words away For all the noise you make You were always safe You were always, you were always, you were always safe With me, safe in sleep Congratulations to the dry eyes Consolations to the nice guys And condensation's on the underside of everything I touch I seem to chill the objects that I meant so much to love A man can keep you sane five hundred and fifty days A year and a half, give or take an afternoon We should've sooner left the train but we made it I guess that makes us the survivors, tumor blooming in my brain, I hate it But it makes the colors brighter so Pump the anesthesia, spite the man that leaves you fight the sad disease you Contracted while standing boring and bored Come back from the lab report with The nervous disorder only the rich are afforded Safe with me Safe in sleep Safe Put all your words away For all the noise you make You were always safe You were always, you were always, you were always safe With me, safe in sleep And I'm too polite to accuse you of being Where you've been tonight