Sober

歌詞

T.J. Miller (repeated) I'm like Pepsi, I'm always second best Like Melissa Etheridge, I'm usually in a vest I'm like Home Depot, if I can't flow There's Hispanics out front, ready to go I'm like Southwest, you're free to move around But the only place I'm goin' is D-Town I'm like Mr. Clean, I appear out of nowhere Jeffrey Tambor, downtown, subtle, no hair I'm like FEMA, I always come late I'm like Puerto Rico, I'm not really a state I'm like Donald Duck, you can't understand a word I'm dangerous and friendly to kids, call me Notorious B.I.G Bird I'm like Maury Povich, I make a living off exploitation I'm like Cubans, sometimes I mix myself up with Haitians I'm like Sarah Palin, I'm the scum of the Earth I'm like Jaden Smith, I was set since birth I'm like my mom's friend, Allison Galansky When I have dinner parties, I don't invite me I'm like Dave Matthews, my fans are all tools I'm like cricket y'all, I don't quite understand the rules I'm like an overweight advice columnist/hunter-director of photography I shot 'Dear Flabby' It was a documentary, it actually won Best Picture at Thundance and South By Northeast. We submitted to Cannies, but it didn't take. I'm like a claw-machine, you usually don't win I'm like that all that's evil and not real, you can call me sin I'm like a clown without makeup, still kinda scary I'm like a Scrabble dictionary 'Cause I'm useless, but with a great vocabulary I'm confusing, like when a girl named "Mary" gets married I'm like Gary Coleman, it didn't end up so great I'm like pornography, I use me to masturbate Flight attendant to ya phone, I'll get ya turned off I'm like a creepy doctor, don't turn your head when you cough I'm like a butterface, 'cause I have margarine on my face I'm like china in a bull shop, I'm still outta place I'm like cryogenics, no one really knows exactly what I am or if it extends one's own life; it's probably just science fiction to help people stave off their fear of mortality you know? I'm like that I'm like Krevin Harbutton, no one's ever heard of me I'm an annoying phenomenon, I'm like 'Glee' I'm like L.A. 'cause I take my time to crush your soul I'm like New York City, I'm already full I'm like Richard Nixon, except I'm a crook Like a blind person with audiotapes, I don't do it by the book! I'm like King Kong, 'cause I sweat a lot I mean nobody ever talks about it, but he probably sweats a lot I'm like Q-tip, I didn't make it fuckin' rhyme for real But yo technically, I'm not made of steel I'm mostly water I'm mostly water (Did you know the human body is close to 97% water?) (I mean, it's like... entirely water.) I'm like Cali Swag, I'm a one hit wonder I'm like a cold hit without mass appeal, I'm 'Six Feet Under' I'm like glasses, since July I've been out of fashion I'm the cultural elite, I'm the last intellectual bastion I'm like Elvis Presley, 'cause I stole that shit I'm like Charlie Parker, 'cause I'm that 'Bird' shit Yo, riffin's in my blood, and it's not about to clot Improvise like the Sun, all important and fuckin' hot I'm like a flasher in the cold, I always wear two coats I'm like Angela Lansbury, I wrote 'Murder She Wrote' I'm like Mrs. Doubtfire, I look good in a wig I'm like that farmer from 'Babe', That'll do pig That-that'll do pig, that'll do pig Oh boys, oh-oh, oh boys. Oh boys (boys) Black people. -