Sunday nights that you want her like velvet cake Sweet heart can bargain half price mistakes She will go down with her ship like a good captain You're sitting on the dock playing for an audience of one Pacing your apartment, linoleum floors Get a call from an old friend, she never liked him before He will drive all over three lanes, you sit tight, shotgun Windshield wipers waving for an audience of one You came out from the country wearing mama's clothes You were born in the city with daddy's domino's You need a record you can move to, well, we got one Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of one Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of one One gets all of you, two's jealous, three gets even less Four divides you up then you're left pleasing all your guests Reach out, you point a finger and touch the globe Spin it round and where it stops you got to pack your bags and go Land in the Mojave desert, you sing for the sun Three's too many when you're playing for an audience of one Two's too busy when you're playing for an audience of one One is the only way you're playing for an audience of one