There is a man you'll hear about Most every place you go, And his holdings are in Texas And his name is Diamond Joe. And he carries all his money In his diamond-studded jaw. And he never was much bothered By the process of the law. Well, I hired to Diamond Joe, boys, I did offer him my hand, And he gave me a string of horses So old they could not stand. Well I liked to die of hunger 'Cause he did mistreat me so, And I never earned one dollar In the pay of Diamond Joe. Well his bread it was corn dodger And his meat I could not chaw, And he drove me near distracted With that waggin' of his jaw. While he tellin' of his story, And I mean to let you know, That there never was a rounder That lied like Diamond Joe. Well, I tried three times to quit him, Boys, but he did argue so That I still am punchin' cattle In the pay of Diamond Joe. And when I'm called to heaven Last thing before I go, Give my blankets to my buddies And give the fleas to Diamond Joe.