I hate men! I can't abide them, even now and then! Than ever marry one of them I'd rest a maiden rather, For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother! Of course I'm awfully glad that mother deigned to marry father! But I hate men! Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy, I hate the most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy! He may have hair upon his chest, but sister, so has Lassie! Oh I hate men! I hate men! They should be kept like piggys in a pen! Don't wear a traveling salesman, though a tempting tom he may be, For on your wedding night he may be off to far Araby! While he's away in Mandalay, 'tis thee who'll have the baby! Oh I hate men! I hate men! Though roosters they, I will not play the hen! If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism, He'll always stay at home at night and make no criticism; Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism! Oh I hate men! From all I've read alone in bed from A to Zed about them, Since love is blind, then from the mind all womankind should rout them! But ladies, you must answer to, "What would we do without them?", Still I hate men!