Christ would wear cowboy boots Christ would have sex Christ would eat pizza And cut black jack decks Christ would be sober But christ would be fun Christ would get over On those trying to run Christ would love hip hop Metal and soul Christ would bring chaos The breath of control Christ would be rocking Christ would be free He'd say there's no difference Between you and me This is the ballad of Boogie Christ Toss my salad And feed me your rice Christ baked potatoes Christ chewing gum Christ without pathos Saying "yum yum" Christ in the middle Like the monkey with balls Christ picking up When euphoria calls Hello, dear father Hello there, my son How have you been? Well, I gotta run OK I love you See you real soon Maybe September Maybe next June This is the ballad of Boogie Christ Toss my salad And throw wedding rice Christ would be careful Christ would be brave But Christ, he would never Be anyone's slave Christ is here now Christ is beyond Christ would watch Rocky And On Golden Pond Christ would relax And Christ would get mad Christ would help answer If judgment is bad Well, no and then yes Well, yes and then no Nothing is easy But it's simple to glow Just walk away From fear and deceit Never surrender But never compete Cheer for your brother Your rival, your friend And help their survival To beat you again This is the ballad of Boogie Christ Toss my salad And feed me some rice Give and give freely All that you can Help show the worried What it is to be man Christ would be handsome Christ would be gross Christ would buy butter And make you some toast Christ would be savage But Christ would be true He'd say if you want him Then look inside you Yes, Christ would be savage But christ would be true He'd say if you want him Then just look in you This is the ballad of Boogie Christ Toss my salad Throw wedding rice This is the ballad of Boogie Christ Toss my salad Throw wedding rice