Oh, my heart is beating wildly And it's all because you're here When I'm not near the girl I love I love the girl I'm near Every femme that flutters by me Is a flame that must be fanned When I can't fondle the hand I'm fond of I fondle the hand at hand My heart's in a pickle It's constantly fickle And not too partickle, I fear When I'm not near the girl I love I love the girl I'm near Sharon, I mean Susan, Susan What if they're tall and tender What if they're small and slender Long as they've got that gender I surrender Always I can't refuse them Always my feet pursue them Long as they've got a bosom I woos 'em I love the girl I'm near When I'm not near the girl I love I love a girl I'm near I'm confessing a confession And I hope I'm not verbose When I'm not close to the kiss that I cling to I cling to the kiss that's close As I'm more and more a mortal I am more and more a case When I'm not facing the face that I fancy I fancy the face I face For Sharon I'm-a-caring But Susan I'm-a-choosing I'm faithful to whos'n is here When I'm not near the girl I love I love the girl I'm near