Well, I know there's never been a man in the awful shape I'm in I can't even spell my name, my head's in such a spin I tried to eat a steak today with a big old tablespoon You got me chasin' rabbits, walkin' on my hands, and howlin' at the moon Well, shug, I took one look at you and it almost drove me mad And then I even went and lost what little sense I had Now I can't tell the day from night, I'm crazy as a loon You got me chasin' rabbits, pullin' out my hair, and howlin' at the moon Some friends of mine asked me to go out on a huntin' spree 'Cause there ain't a hound dog in the state that can hold a light to me I ate three bones for dinner today and tried to tree a 'coon You got me chasin' rabbits, scratchin' on fleas, and howlin' at the moon Well, I rode my horse to town today and a gas pump we did pass I pulled 'im up and I hollered, "Whoa!", and said, "Fill 'im up with gas" A man picked up a monkey wrench and WHAM!, he changed my tune You got me chasin' rabbits, spittin' out teeth, and howlin' at the moon Well, I never thought in this old world a fool could fall so hard But honey baby, when I fell the whole world must have jarred I think I'd quit my doggish ways if you'd take me for your groom You got me chasin' rabbits, pickin' out rings, and howlin' at the moon