You climbed up the drainpipe And I climbed up the ladder in your ? We are back from the river where The midgets deliver their bites Jealousy's a pit And I see that you have it in spate Try and cut the power line to our kingdom With some corner shop razor blades If you ever, if you ever Come back this way Don't be clever, dull your senses Your senses and stay I know your sails are wide open And you wait for the gale I'd rather be in the inkwell Than lost in the mail I threaten you with an umbrella With a poison tip Then you produce a blowtorch To the hair above my lip The neighbours gather round, they say The boy's not looking great Well stick around fellas I can punch Above my weight If you ever, if you ever Come back this way Don't be clever, dull your senses Your senses and stay I know your sails are wide open And you wait for the gale I'd rather be in the inkwell Than lost in the mail Everybody's saying that you sister Is a big girl She stops me in my tracks She has a voice like a river ? There's a rumour goin around that you've been Talking to the house detective