There’s a squatter in my flat My records are all scratched The cat box is overflowing I don’t even have a cat McDonald’s wrappers in the trash There’s a squatter in my flat They probably were hoping that I’m never coming back They ate my bag of mushrooms And they spent all of my cash! Boot prints on the sofa And semen in the sink Whatever’s in the garbage can is really beginning to stink I really should’ve never left that key under the mat I just got home from tour and there’s a squatter in my flat!