I take her dancing and step on her shoes I fix her toaster and I blow a fuse Then I get seasick, when we take a cruise – I'm the genuine original first edition copy of Sad Sack! How can I make her love me When I take her driving and I get a flat I take the milk out and bring in the cat And then I sit down on top of her hat – I'm the genuine original first edition copy of Sad Sack! How can I make her love me when I drop my ashes all over her clothes And I misplace her keys? And, for forgiveness, I send her a rose And roses always make her sneeze! Achoo! The lamp is so bright I pull out the plug Her arms then open to give me a hug I run to kiss her and trip on the rug – I'm the genuine original first edition copy of Sad Sack! The original Sad Sack – I'm the genuine original first edition copy of Sad Sack!