As a Porcupine Pines for Its Pork

歌詞

Say, Bill, shall we sing that crazy porcupine song? Yes, Ernest. I just feel crazy enough to sing it Then we'll both be crazy. All right, Dave Porcupines are all full of quills Kiss them and you're sure to get thrills Weeping willows like to weep Just like I weep for you As a porcupine pines for its pork That's how I pine for you As a grasshopper hops on the grass I'll hop right after you As an eggplant plants its egg I'll plant myself near you Not a woodchuck would chuck wood As I would chuck my love at you Say, Bill, what's the difference between a rich man and a dog's tail? A dog's tail keeps a-waggin', and a rich man keeps an automobile! Alligators come through the gate But goodbye, leg, if you get away late Lollies always like to pop I'll pop the question too As a porcupine pines for its pork That's how I pine for you As a woodpecker pecks at the wood I'll always peck at you As a Pekinese peeks at the knees I'll always peek at you All the oilcans can their oil But I can tie the can to you Say, Bill, we've got a new dog down at my house What's his name, Ernie? Why, Ginger Does Ginger bite? No, Ginger snaps! As a butterfly flies at the butter I'll fly right after you As a mousetrap traps the mouse That's just how I'll trap you As the lipstick sticks to the lip I'll always stick to you As the earring rings the ear I'm going to put a ring on you Tell me, Ernest, how do you produce sawdust? Produce sawdust? Why, uh, let me see, uh Come, come! Use your head! Oh, Will! If they find the guys who wrote this song They'll not be here for long As the sharpshooter likes to shoot We'll shoot those crazy goofs Every nutcracker has its nuts And nuts from trees do fall But of all the nuts and crazy mutts They are the worst of all! Bill, what do cannibals do with the heads of their victims? I guess they make noodle soup out of them, Ernie! If we don't sing another chorus We hope you'll still be for us We bought dictionaries by the score But we can't find no more Just buy yourself a ukulele And while you're strumming gaily Sing your own words to this crazy song They're all right if they're wrong As the penholder holds the pen That's just how I'll hold you As the soupspoon spoons with the soup That's how I'll spoon with you As the Sunkist kisses the sun I'll keep on kissing you As the lemon squeezer squeezes lemons That's just how I'll squeeze you Every old rubber tire tires But I'll not tire of you As the fruit punch punches the fruit That's just how I'll punch you As the fishhook hooks the fish Believe me, I'll hook you As Mary Pickford picks a Ford That's just how I picked you As the coal heaver heaves his coal I'll heave my love at you As the earache aches for the ear My poor heart aches for you As the broomstick sticks to the broom I'll always stick to you As the bull's-eye eyes the bull I'm going to keep an eye on you.