I've got an itch that I can't fix I'm gonna get your mother to mix me a drink Just think She takes my hand to put it up her skirt I'll call you up to dish the dirt on her So it doesn't reoccur Your Ma will do it I don't know where to hide Before I know it her hand's inside I know the damage that she can do with her hands untied I try to keep her on hubbie's work But if I don't stop she'll think I'm a jerk A jerk Chorus Go on! Upper grade... I've got a problem with someone's mum But she relieves me of my daily humdrum And while I stand there taking off her dress I guess I'm in a mess Cos she wants a boy with the teenage drive And knock his socks off his teenage life And then I remember - She's your daddy's wife