Dressed up like a dog's dinner Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth If this is a dog's life Then you're the cat's claws They hire out your sons And hire out your daughters The man from abroad says he's already bought her And now you look like a lover but you're only a tourist You're either talking or yawning You didn't listen to a thing you heard Don't start your morning moaning or you might wake up in Luxembourg You get over You're worried by her body She's worryin' about her bodily odour You pull off The pull over You say that you love her when you really loathe her Serves you right now she wants you to feed her and clothe her You're either talking or yawning You didn't listen to a thing you heard Don't start your morning moaning or you might wake up in Luxembourg They're smiling sweetly while they're looking daggers Kick you where it really matters Send all your friends to Coventry And look for your name in last night's obituaries If you've got the Deutschmarks If you've got the Yen, then You get the shirt off her back and the clock off Big Ben Somebody's soft touch Struck all these bargains In the drinking clubs with the council men making plans to put lead back in their pencils again You're either talking or yawning You didn't listen to a thing you heard Don't start your morning moaning or you might wake up in Luxembourg