Endicott's up by 5 o'clock Endicott's givin' it all he got Endicott's job is six to nine but Endicott's home by nine O five Endicott helps to cook the steak Endicott helps to wash the plates Endicott puts the kids to bed Endicott reads a book to them Why can't you be like Endicott? Endicott loves Tribena so Endicott puts her on a pedestal Endicott's wish is her command but Endicott don't make no demands Endicott's always back in time Endicott's not the cheatin' kind Endicott's full of compliment Endicott's such a gentleman Why can't you be like Endicott? 'Cause I'm free Free of any made-to-order liabilities Thank God, I'm free 'Cause it's hard enough for me to take care of me, oh, oh Endicott's carryin' a heavy load but Endicott never really ever moans Endicott's not a wealthy guy but Endicott pays the bills on time Endicott's got ideas and plans Endicott's what you call a real man Endicott always will provide 'cause Endicott is the family type Why can't you be like Endicott? 'Cause I'm free Freer than a pirate on a frigate out at sea Thank God, I'm free Driftin' all around just like a tumbleweed, oh, oh Maybe I need someone, someone who isn't undone Maybe an older woman will tolerate me Maybe that certain someone older and wiser woman Maybe the perfect someone to satisfy me Endicott keeps his body clean Endicott don't use nicotine Endicott don't drink alcohol Endicott use no drugs at all Endicott don't eat any sweet Endicott don't eat pig feet Endicott's frame is mighty strong Endicott make love hard and long Why can't you be like Endicott? Endicott loves Tribena so Endicott walks her to the sto' Endicott likes to hold her hand Endicott's proud to be her man Endicott stands for decency Endicott means formality Endicott's the epitome Endicott stands for quality Endicott Endicott Endicott Endicott Our love will be