I've got some useless but important information Got a hot tip on a filly in the third Skyping with a pretty girl Who lives halfway around the world Won't be long 'til everybody's heard I have sworn and I cannot reveal my sources I can tell you though, that it's not Nancy Grace I've been forced to change my plans Won't be travelin' to Sudan My destination could be outer space Where am I bound, it don't matter Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation What do I hear? Mindless chatter All this useless and important information There are camera crews for blocks outside her trailer The whole thing's going viral as we sing Are they fake or are they real Looks like her boyfriend cut a deal She'll be Dancing With The Stars before the spring You see, she spent her whole Katrina check on implants Crisis over destiny fulfilled Blue tarp or silicone Either way the money's gone I guess there's more than one way to rebuild Who really cares? Trillions twitter I can't comprehend the titillation Breakin' news, world's in the shitter Covering useless and important information Gold starts out in the ground 'til very clever men Dig it up, then weigh it, they they bury it again Mostly comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks Pretty rocks Where am I bound, it don't matter Pocket dialing halfway 'cross the nation What do I hear? Mindless chatter All this useless and important information Where am I bound, it don't matter Whole world's now viewed with car wreck fascination If I were you I'd just keep driving Past all this useless and important information All this useless and important information... Useless... Important... Useless...