Everything's bad for you honey, Everything's bad for you Don't forget what your told or you'll never grow old Cause everything's bad for you Don't laugh too much or cry too much Or eat a candy bar for your lunch Don't hope don't dope or hate the pope Or use unhypoallergenic soap Don't eat don't chew don't drive your car Or pick up strange men from the bar, don't Pet stray cats or smoke cigars Cause all of it's bad for you Everything's bad for you From the sun in the sky to the gum on your shoe Sleeping too much or having nothing to do Everything's bad for you Oh everything's bad for you Loud rock n' roll and the government too Swearing and staring in the swimming pools Everything's bad for you Tha's right... TV shows and magazines Huffin' on markers or gasoline Dressing like a tramp or a beauty queen, and then Trying to get to heaven but your hands ain't clean yeah Everything's bad for you From the sun in the sky to the gum on your shoe Sleeping too much or having nothing to do Everything's bad for you Oh everything's bad for you Loud rock n' roll and the government too, yeah Swearing and staring in the swimming pools Everything's bad for you, honey, everything's bad for you Everything's bad for you