Phlegm lapels for the last time Corned beef legs for the last time Oh we're so glad that you've finally decided But then you see someone new And you want someone new So you have someone new I don't blame you We would all do the same as you If ever we had the nerve to Chips with cream for the last time "The People's Friend" for the last time Oh we're so glad that you've finally decided Tiny striped socks for the last time Pokes and prods for the last time And the doctor said: "Don't nod your head until June! " But then you see someone new And you want someone new So you have someone new I don't blame you We would all do the same as you If ever we had the chance to Sick at noon for the last time And who is gonna clean up, would you be so kind? Oh everybody stares at the strange clothes that you're wearing Bad advice for the last time And people being nice for the very last time Oh we're so glad that you have finally decided